The trap of a profession based on passion

The trap of a profession based on passion

Passion is an encounter so strong that it cannot be questioned.
Working for my passion is a luxury I have had for over 20 years.

Today, I have what every folder dreams of: hundreds of books at hand, thousands of papers of all types, sizes and textures in abundance, free and immediately available, exclusive, unpublished diagrams to be folded long before anyone else for future books, privileged contacts with authors, most of whom are friends, and the organisation of important conventions that make me travel. In addition, I have the luxury of time management, the choice of projects, and the ability to work from home or anywhere in the world. These are advantages that millions of people would envy me for.

But this luxury of having a profession based on passion comes at a price, and it has to be paid.

Picking up the kids from school for a doctor's appointment? No problem, I'll work an extra two hours in the evening. Why sit on the sofa for 10 minutes before dinner, I still have time to read a page or answer a question. The free time of the weekend no longer exists, it is lost time, wasted. Because there is the imperative to get paid, to pay the staff, to find new ideas, to start a new book project, to discover new papers, to test another diagram, to give up one's own artistic career for the benefit of others. Without this, it is impossible to pay the bills.
The slightest pause brings regret, guilt, stress... all the while knowing that this all-consuming devotion is not healthy. When the passion runs out, all I need is a new author, a new model, and everything starts again.

The trap of the profession based on passion is closed. Is it worth it? What is the point of being stubborn?

What I feel most deeply: I didn't ask for anything, it just came to me.
I had a career as a psychotherapist all planned out... And then everything fell into place at the same time: my origami skills, my first website that attracts a lot of folders, my books that are successful, invitations as special guest all over the world... It was more than a sign of fate, it was almost a mystical summons, a call. It seemed so unlikely that all this would happen to me without my asking, that I would become so famous, that I would receive so much recognition; it was as if I had made a pact with myself to devote myself to origami forever.

Sometimes I dream of finding a guy who will free me from this burden so that I can resume my life. Does such a person exist? And especially if it does, what will I do with this new freedom?

And then, suddenly, an exceptional designer knocks on my door. I sense his talent, his energy, what he has to offer the world. Should I open the door? Should I not open it? I feel like the doorkeeper.

So I open again, whatever it takes, because it is no longer passion or the need for recognition that drives me. I am at the service of a path, that of origami. 

Nicolas TERRY

May 18, 2023